Tag Archives: Death

Connections

Roman, Rocky, and me

This picture of Roman and Rocky smiling with their dead dog skeleton toy in front of me inspired this poem. Don’t they look adorable?

Connections

First
I die
Then
A few billion years later
The Sun dies
Collapsing
And taking all of humanity
Remaining in the Solar System
With it
Then
A few trillion years later
The Universe
Dies
The Big Crunch
Possibly creating
A new Big Bang
And with it
A new Universe and possibly
A new me
I won’t know
I’ll be gone
Like the Universe
But
Just being able
To imagine
This
Makes me feel
Alive
Connected
In death
To every living
Thing
Throughout
Eternity

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Test of the Pest

The fly landed on my left eye ball
Glopped around
I could feel the tension
In its six legs
And it’s tiny mouth
Nipping at my cornea
It loomed gigantic
So close to my pupil
I can’t move
So I couldn’t shoo it away
I can’t close my eyelid
All the way
I can’t even make a sound
When I’m lying down
I laughed
Silent
Motionless
Trapped
Thought
This is how
It would feel
To be dead
Unflinching
In the face
Of what would drive the living
Mad
After what seemed like
An eternal
Eternity
The fly flew off
My nurse turned
Saw a subtle
Expression of fear
And disgust
Asked if I was ok
I quivered my lip
Which means
Yes

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DARK POWERS

Bright Lights: Roman and Rocky

Bright Lights: Roman and Rocky

DARK POWERS
By Scott Lew  7/3/13

Recently
The darkness in everything
And
The darkness in me
Feel closer
As the last of my muscles
Dissolve
The force
That keeps the darkness
Apart
Also weakens
I’m in-between
Feeling
The crush

Then
I’m snapped back
To fantastic
Reality

Roman uses me
As a lounge chair
And tells me about
The ice rock
That killed the dinosaurs
Rocky counts all five fingers
Playing with my limp hand
And tells me
I’m going to get better
Ann smiles
Despite everything
And
Bright light
Tickles my mind
Separates me
From
The darkness

Death
Makes so many
Simple things
Lifesavers

The last couple of times
I’ve seen my Dad
He’s admonished
That it’s time for me
To be at peace
With death
He feels the darkness too
It’s frustrating
Only to be able to
Blink out the words
“I am”
When I want to have
A big conversation
About meaning in life
And the narrow
But infinite
Nature of our existence
And how
Just having
Him there
Talking
About the heavy subject
Is one of those
Bright lights
Against
The inevitable
Crush
Of
Darkness

ALS is a terminal illness
And I’ve been to the brink
Many times
But feeling
The force
Of death
Tickles
When mixed with
Beautiful
Everything
So I’m going to
Keep on
Silently
Laughing

My Dad with Bright Light: Penelope

My Dad with Bright Light: Penelope

 

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Filed under ALS, ALS Poetry, Lou Gehrig's Disease, PALS, Poetry, Scott Lew